Difficult Conversations
A guide to navigating and resolving tough discussions effectively.
Summary of 5 Key Points
Key Points
- Understanding the Three Conversations
- Exploring our Internal Voice
- The ‘And’ Stance
- Uncovering the ‘Learning Conversation’
- Moving to a Problem-Solving Conversation
key point 1 of 5
Understanding the Three Conversations
The Three Conversations is a concept that details the different facets of any difficult conversation. The first facet is the ‘What Happened?’ dialogue. This involves the differing perceptions, interpretations, and values of the involved parties. Each participant in the conversation has their own story about what happened and who is to blame. Misalignment often comes from these divergent narratives and sorting through these differences is key to resolving the conflict. ..Read&Listen More
key point 2 of 5
Exploring our Internal Voice
Our internal voice is a powerful element of our consciousness that shapes our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It is the continuous internal dialogue we have with ourselves, often serving to interpret and evaluate our experiences. It’s the narrator of our life experiences, often coloring our perceptions and guiding our reactions. The internal voice is an ever-present companion, whether we are consciously aware of it or not…Read&Listen More
key point 3 of 5
The ‘And’ Stance
The ‘And’ Stance is a mindset that balances assertiveness and empathy. It enables us to express our thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, while also recognizing and validating the other person’s perspective. This approach encourages us to replace the word ‘but’ with ‘and’, to demonstrate our understanding of the other person’s viewpoint, before sharing our own. It allows for a more comprehensive and nuanced conversation, rather than a rigid and potentially confrontational exchange…Read&Listen More
key point 4 of 5
Uncovering the ‘Learning Conversation’
The ‘Learning Conversation’ is a key perspective in effective communication and is a significant shift from the traditional confrontational and defensive approach. Instead of clinging to our own truths and trying to convince others to accept them, learning conversation encourages curiosity in understanding the perspectives of others. This approach fosters a better understanding of each other’s intentions and emotions, which is often the real source of conflict, rather than the surface issue at hand…Read&Listen More
key point 5 of 5
Moving to a Problem-Solving Conversation
Moving to a problem-solving conversation involves shifting the focus from blame and accusations to interests and learning. This involves first understanding each other’s stories, feelings, and perceptions rather than just sticking to respective positions. It encourages openness and curiosity about the other party’s perspective, leading to a more collaborative approach to problem resolution…Read&Listen More