Never Split the Difference (Old Version)
A former FBI negotiator shares high-stakes negotiation strategies applicable in everyday life.
Summary of 6 Key Points
Key Points
- Negotiation is an inherent part of life
- Empathy is a powerful negotiation tool
- The ‘mirroring’ technique in negotiation
- Mastering the art of ‘No’
- Creating the illusion of control
- Bargaining hard
key point 1 of 6
Negotiation is an inherent part of life
Negotiation is an aspect of life that is deeply woven into our daily activities, both personally and professionally. Whether it is negotiating a higher salary at work, bargaining for a lower price at the marketplace, or even settling on what movie to watch with a friend or partner, the act of negotiation is almost impossible to avoid. It is a process in which two or more parties with different needs and goals try to find a mutually acceptable solution to a complex conflict or issue. Each party in the negotiation process has the power to influence the outcome in their favor…Read&Listen More
key point 2 of 6
Empathy is a powerful negotiation tool
Empathy is portrayed as an essential tool for successful negotiation, transcending the conventional wisdom that views it as a sign of weakness. The book explains that empathy involves understanding the emotions of the counterpart and acknowledging their perspective without necessarily agreeing with them. It’s a skill that enables negotiators to establish a connection and build trust. By actively listening and paying close attention to the other party’s verbal and non-verbal cues, a negotiator can use empathy to better understand what the other side truly values…Read&Listen More
key point 3 of 6
The ‘mirroring’ technique in negotiation
Mirroring is a powerful tool that encourages the other person to reveal more about their thoughts and feelings. Essentially, it involves imitating the other person’s language, tone, and behavior. This establishes familiarity and trust because it subconsciously makes the other person feel understood and accepted. However, it’s crucial to be tactful when mirroring to prevent it from appearing as mockery or manipulation…Read&Listen More
key point 4 of 6
Mastering the art of ‘No’
The ‘No’ is a powerful tool masterfully used in negotiations. It holds the ability to establish boundaries, bring clarity, and provide a sense of control. When used effectively, it becomes a catalyst for dialogue. It is not a showstopper, but a conversation enhancer, which can be utilized to uncover the other party’s stance and their underlying needs. Handling ‘No’ effectively is an art that involves patience, understanding, and a strategic approach…Read&Listen More
key point 5 of 6
Creating the illusion of control
Creating the illusion of control is about allowing the other party to feel they’re steering the conversation while in reality, you’re subtly guiding them. This can be achieved by using calibrated questions, which are open-ended and strategically crafted to not only extract more information but also lead the conversation in a specific direction. These questions often start with ‘how’ or ‘what’. For example, instead of saying ‘Do you agree?’, you could ask, ‘How can we make this work for both of us?’..Read&Listen More
key point 6 of 6
Bargaining hard
Bargaining hard from the perspective of ‘Never Split the Difference’ involves a keen understanding of human psychology and an effective approach towards empathetic communication. The book highlights the importance of asserting your position, but also recognizing and validating the other person’s interests and emotions. It encourages a method of negotiation that is based on collaboration rather than competition…Read&Listen More