The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Summary
Essential strategies for nurturing and strengthening marital bonds.
Summary of 7 Key Points
Key Points
- Enhancing Love Maps
- Nurturing Fondness and Admiration
- Turning Toward Each Other Instead of Away
- Letting Your Partner Influence You
- Solving Solvable Problems
- Overcoming Gridlock
- Creating Shared Meaning
key point 1 of 7
Enhancing Love Maps
Enhancing Love Maps refers to the concept of having a detailed understanding of your partner’s world, which is one of the foundational principles for a strong, resilient marriage. It involves knowing the little things about your partner’s life, which creates a strong foundation for the deepening of intimacy and friendship. This principle suggests that the more you know about your partner’s likes, dislikes, fears, and dreams, the more likely your marriage will withstand stress and conflict…Read&Listen More
key point 2 of 7
Nurturing Fondness and Admiration
Nurturing fondness and admiration is one of the essential principles for creating a stable and lasting marriage. This principle is based on the idea that a deep sense of affection and respect is critical for a relationship to thrive. To nurture fondness, spouses are encouraged to focus on the positive qualities of their partner and the mutual respect that has grown over time. It’s about cherishing the other person, looking up to them, and holding them in high esteem. By maintaining a positive perspective, couples can weather the challenges and conflicts that naturally arise in any relationship…Read&Listen More
key point 3 of 7
Turning Toward Each Other Instead of Away
The notion of turning toward each other rather than away is a central concept that emphasizes the importance of how partners respond to each other’s bids for connection, attention, or support. A bid can be any attempt from one partner to another for affection, attention, or any other form of positive connection. These bids can be as simple as a smile, a question, a gesture or as complex as a request for advice or support in times of distress…Read&Listen More
key point 4 of 7
Letting Your Partner Influence You
The principle of ‘Letting Your Partner Influence You’ stresses the importance of mutual respect and consideration in a relationship. It underlines that a successful marriage is not about one partner bending to the will of the other, but rather both partners valuing each other’s opinions and feelings. The idea is that when partners are open to each other’s influence, they demonstrate a respect that is vital for a healthy and balanced relationship. It emphasizes that power sharing and negotiation are key components of a lasting marriage…Read&Listen More
key point 5 of 7
Solving Solvable Problems
In addressing solvable problems within a marriage, the focus is on the practical strategies that couples can employ to deal with conflicts that aren’t rooted in fundamental differences. A solvable problem is identified as one that can be tackled head-on because it is situational, rather than a deep-seated issue that reflects underlying values or personality traits. The approach here is to manage the problem with clear communication, understanding, and a willingness to compromise…Read&Listen More
key point 6 of 7
Overcoming Gridlock
Overcoming gridlock involves understanding that perpetual conflicts often lie at the heart of gridlocked issues. These conflicts are rooted in fundamental differences in values, dreams, or personalities between partners. They can surface in persistent arguments about seemingly mundane topics, like household chores or spending habits. However, beneath these surface issues are deeper, more meaningful concerns related to personal hopes, dreams, and life goals that are not being addressed or respected by one’s partner…Read&Listen More
key point 7 of 7
Creating Shared Meaning
Creating shared meaning in a relationship is about developing a deeper connection that goes beyond each partner’s individual interests and encompasses shared dreams, values, and traditions. It involves building a life together that reflects both individuals’ beliefs and aspirations. This principle asserts that, for a marriage to truly thrive, partners need to understand and respect each other’s life philosophies, support each other’s roles in the relationship, and share a sense of purpose and meaning that guides their lives together…Read&Listen More