This Is How It Always Is
A heartfelt tale of a family embracing their transgender child.
Summary of 7 Key Points
Key Points
- Introduction to the Walsh-Adams family
- Claude’s realization of his gender identity
- Family’s response to Claude becoming Poppy
- Challenges of keeping a secret
- The family’s move and starting anew
- Exploration of societal norms and acceptance
- Poppy’s right to her own story
key point 1 of 7
Introduction to the Walsh-Adams family
The Walsh-Adams family is at the core of the narrative, depicted as a loving and unconventional family. Rosie and Penn are the parents, and they have five children. Their household is characterized by a chaotic but nurturing environment where each child’s individuality is celebrated. The family resides in a small, fictional town in the United States where they lead a relatively idyllic life. The parents have a strong partnership, grounded in mutual respect and love, which helps them navigate the complexities of raising a large family…Read&Listen More
key point 2 of 7
Claude’s realization of his gender identity
Claude, the youngest child of the Walsh-Adams family, exhibits signs that he is different from his brothers at a very young age. He gravitates towards dressing up in dresses and skirts, favoring traditionally ‘girly’ playthings and activities. Claude’s preferences are presented as innate and sincere, a true expression of his inner self. The narrative follows his journey of self-discovery, marked by an early sense of certainty about his identity that defies societal norms about gender…Read&Listen More
key point 3 of 7
Family’s response to Claude becoming Poppy
The family at the heart of the narrative is initially taken aback when Claude, their youngest son, starts to express a desire to wear dresses and be referred to as Poppy. His parents, Rosie and Penn, and his four brothers grapple with complex emotions as they navigate this revelation. Rosie, a doctor by profession, approaches the situation with a mix of clinical curiosity and maternal protectiveness. She wants to support her child’s happiness but is also acutely aware of the societal challenges that lie ahead. Penn, a writer and stay-at-home father, dips into his storytelling skills to help normalize the situation for their other children, creating an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding within the family unit…Read&Listen More
key point 4 of 7
Challenges of keeping a secret
In the narrative, the challenges of keeping a secret are profoundly illustrated through the character of Claude, the youngest son of Rosie and Penn, who feels he is a girl and wants to be known as Poppy. The family faces a significant dilemma when they choose to keep Poppy’s transgender identity a secret from the outside world. This decision is a protective measure, intending to shield Poppy from judgment and prejudice, but it brings with it a complex web of challenges and strains…Read&Listen More
key point 5 of 7
The family’s move and starting anew
The family at the heart of the story is the Walsh-Adams family, who decide to move across the country to start anew after their youngest child, Claude, who later becomes Poppy, expresses the wish to live as a girl. Their move from their rural Wisconsin home to Seattle is a pivotal moment in the novel, symbolizing a fresh start not just for Poppy, but for the entire family. The parents, Rosie and Penn, recognize the need for a more accepting and open environment for their child to grow up in, where Poppy can be herself without the constraints and judgments of their old community…Read&Listen More
key point 6 of 7
Exploration of societal norms and acceptance
In ‘This Is How It Always Is’, the exploration of societal norms and acceptance is intricately woven through the story of the Walsh-Adams family, particularly through the experiences of the youngest son, Claude, who later becomes Poppy. The book delves into the challenges that arise when a child does not conform to traditional gender norms and how that nonconformity tests the fabric of family, community, and societal acceptance. Laurie Frankel tackles the issues of gender identity with sensitivity and insight, pushing the reader to reflect on their own biases and the societal pressures to fit into predefined roles…Read&Listen More
key point 7 of 7
Poppy’s right to her own story
Poppy, who was born Claude, is a transgender girl in the novel. Her right to her own story is a prominent theme, explored through the family’s journey of acceptance and the decisions they make about who should know about Poppy’s past. The narrative delves into the complexities of privacy and honesty, especially in regard to a child’s evolving sense of identity. It casts a light on the tension between wanting to protect Poppy from a world that can be unkind and the importance of allowing her to live authentically and openly…Read&Listen More