I’m Ok, You’re Ok
A guide to understanding relationships and human behavior through transactional analysis.
Summary of 6 Key Points
Key Points
- Understanding Transactional Analysis
- Parent, Adult and Child Ego States
- The Four Life Positions
- Psychological Games People Play
- Strokes and Recognition
- The Ok Corral: Grid for What’s Happening
key point 1 of 6
Understanding Transactional Analysis
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and personal change. It is centered on the premise that we have three ego-states: the Parent, Adult, and Child. These ego-states are consistently at play in our interactions, forming the basis of communication and understanding in interpersonal relationships. The Parent state contains the attitudes and behaviors incorporated from external sources, primarily parents. These can be nurturing or critical, and they influence how one might instruct or care for others. The Adult ego-state operates as a data-processing center, dealing with the here and now and functioning without the bias of past experiences. The Child ego-state houses emotions and is a direct reflection of the individual’s childhood experiences. It can manifest as free and natural or adapt to imposed conditions…Read&Listen More
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Parent, Adult and Child Ego States
In the Parent ego state, individuals behave, feel and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents acted, or how they interpreted their parent’s actions. This state can be both nurturing or critical, depending on the behavior that’s being mimicked. This is where the learned aspects from our upbringing comes into play, including our value system and judgement of others. ..Read&Listen More
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The Four Life Positions
The four life positions are overarching beliefs about oneself and others, which are established in early childhood and heavily influence our interactions and behaviors throughout life. These positions are: I’m OK, You’re OK; I’m OK, You’re Not OK; I’m Not OK, You’re OK; and I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK…Read&Listen More
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Psychological Games People Play
Psychological games are social interactions through which individuals manipulate others to achieve hidden ulterior motives. They vary from innocent pranks to complex and harmful games that can drastically affect individuals’ mental health. These games are often played subconsciously, initiated by the individual’s past experiences, fears, and insecurities, and are often repetitive in nature. They form a part of every human interaction; be it personal, social, or professional. ..Read&Listen More
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Strokes and Recognition
In the context of the book, ‘Strokes’ are a fundamental concept and refer to any form of human recognition that is potentially life-giving and life-sustaining – be it a smile, a nod, a word of acknowledgement, or even a simple touch. They are crucial for human survival and play a significant part in shaping the individual’s emotional and psychological well-being…Read&Listen More
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The Ok Corral: Grid for What’s Happening
The Ok Corral: Grid for What’s Happening is a concept in transactional analysis that categorizes the different states of existence. The grid is divided into four quadrants: I’m OK, You’re OK; I’m OK, You’re Not OK; I’m Not OK, You’re OK; and I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK. Each quadrant represents a different mentality or perspective one can have about oneself and others…Read&Listen More